The Balzac: a hundred Ostend oysters, twelve Pre-Sale mutton cutlets, a duckling with turnips, a brace of roast partridges, a sole Normand, without counting hors d’oeuvres, entremets, fifteen kinds of fish, and a pyramid of fruit, served on French bread with a side of black coffee.
The Catcher in the Rye: meatloaf and ketchup on rye bread.
S’more and Peace: marshmallow, melted chocolate, and an olive branch between graham crackers.
The Miss Lonelyhearts: one slice of plain white bread with heart of palm.
The George Perec: ham on a roll with mustard: hold the cheese, pickle, ketchup or anything else with an “e” in it.
Webster’s Dictionary: two or more slices of bread or the like with a layer of meat, fish, cheese, etc., between each pair.
The Nora Roberts: all cheese.
The Dave Eggers: a broken, runny egg on staggeringly thick bread; served with a guide to its enjoyment.
The Thomas Pynchon: no one really knows.
Lady Cheddarley’s Lover: a controversial abundance of melted cheddar and several unprintable ingredients.
“The Wings of the Dove”: dove meat, Grey Poupon
“The Spoils of Poynton”: spoiled ham, Grey Poupon
“The Golden Bowl”: french fries and Grey Poupon, served in a bowl.
The Animal Farm: supposed to include a variety of meats in equal parts; in practice, though, mostly ham.